The Sh*t Just Keeps Rolling In, And…

     I’ve decided I’m insane, not a lot insane (from my point of view) but a little insane.  After a few weeks of letting garbage build up in my room…next to my bed…I finally decided I’d had enough of that particular malfunction, and I cleaned up my personal area.  (Oh, crap!  I just spotted two more Vienna sausage cans.  Grr!)  I picked up the cans- sausage, spaghetti rings and meatballs, soda, the candy wrappers, the water bottles, the prescription bags/empty bottles and the NetFlix envelope tear offs.  I put a fresh liner in my waste basket, and I placed it next to my bed where it had been buried under the aforementioned detritus.  I even sorted everything by recycle category.  (The previously overlooked aluminum sausage cans are now in the recycle bin.)  Who knows?  Maybe tomorrow I’ll attack my hair.  Currently I’m looking somewhat like Hagrid only shorter, no mustache or beard, and of course, I’m female.  A 6’6″ male acquaintance of mine would simply refer to me as “…the Hobbit from Hel.”  I adore him, so he can call me that if he wants to.  I have every intention of velcroing myself to him at some point in the future, so it’ll all even out in the end.  (Failing Velcro, I’ll use duct tape.  Between the two of us, that’s a lot of hair in jeopardy.)

     Another part of my insanity is knowing I’m fighting a losing battle, and yet I continue to fight it.  This is in regards to my animals.  My thought was to raise some food to help out with the added food bills when I moved in.  Silly me.  Although my father boasted to a magazine about the wild pig I’d coaxed into staying with us, he never wanted me to be living here, much less any animals associated with me.  It’s been over two years, and the goat pen isn’t finished.  I would attempt to do it myself.  However, I’m physically much weaker than I used to be, and my father uses all the medications I’m taking as his reason for refusing me access to his power tools.  There’s a distinct possibility he’s correct in his   assumptions of disaster with that activity.  On the other hand, unlike him, I don’t have a history of almost removing body parts while performing simple tasks not requiring power tools.  Anyway, it’s just getting to be too expensive to feed them on my income, and the sweet little pig has grown into a headstrong hog who has developed some aggressive behaviors when she doesn’t get her way.  After being bitten by her a few times and knocked on my butt in mud this morning, I’m seriously considering changing her name back to ‘Bacon’.  I’m not going to even go into the rest of the issues regarding the goats or turkeys.  But still, every morning I get up and go care for them as they need to be.  But still, I hold onto the hope that things will somehow work out.  But still, I keep working hard to try to make everything work out.  Crazy, huh?  

     My doctors have begun second guessing one another and playing ping pong with my speaking to this doctor or that doctor for them about something or other.  Heh!  I distinctly recall signing a bunch of paperwork all over the county, so I would’t be having to do this very thing.  I really want them to talk to each other, and leave me out of their professional disagreements!  For instance, the shrink I’ve been seeing for years, who barely gives me 15 minutes every three months, is satisfied that my moods have stabilized.  Never mind that the bar is somewhere near my mid-shins.  My neurologist is not happy about that, so he’s given me a mood elevator.  Well, what’a you know?  It works!  I’d rather not be artificially cheerful, but I don’t plan to stop taking this medication anytime soon.  Let’s face it, with all the bad news floating about the airwaves and internet these days, pretty much all of us have really good reasons to be depressed without adding being seriously bipolar, too!

     I just took time out to put the critters to bed, and the hog, Daisy, struck again.  First, I found the  crap I bagged up earlier spread all over the side yard, and she argued with me for possession of the bag.  Then, when I tried to get her to leave the goat pen where she was bound and determined to get every single kernel of corn the squirrels dropped, she spun around, butted the inside of my knee and bit me.  She’s lucky my flashlight isn’t a Maglight, as I clearly rang her bell for her!  She then proceeded to make me feel guilty by acting all “little piggie” and lying down at my feet.  She really enjoyed the oatmeal cookies which she ate like such a well behaved girl.  I am such a sucker. *sigh*  

     Lately, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into my “friendships”, my Facebook friendships included.  I think it best if I do some cleaning there.  I’ve realized I don’t really talk to anyone on Facebook anymore.  It’s become all postings of pics and quips.  The one liner philosophies of too many are clouding the path I have set for myself.  A person with whom I used to speak has become uncomfortable periods of pulling words from the other as though I’m pulling teeth.  Why?  I don’t know.  Should I drop that person from my Friend list?  Most likely, yes.  Will I?  It’s kind of hard to drop someone who has a partner on my list.  These people are not my enemies, but I no longer see where continued acquaintanceship will further my knowledge of my path.  I wish I could say that these two are the only ones.  In truth, I have felt a wall rising around me making it more difficult to connect in any way deeper than the surface.  

     Maybe I’ve become so jaded I figure folks on Facebook aren’t real.  Maybe I’m finally learning how to insulate myself from disappointment.  

Posted in Commentary, Rant, Stuff, Thoughts | 2 Comments

Piggie Update, a Turtle and My Opinions

The last time I posted, I bragged a bit on my piggie Daisy.  My father did me one better.  He decided to write a few paragraphs to send to Grit magazine (the sister publication of Mother Earth News).  Not only did they like what he had to say, they wanted pictures.  I sent them seven, and they used three.  The URL to the page in the next issue (not out yet) where the article can be seen is:  One of the pics is a tad cute.  We are, after all, talking about a wild pig who has decided to stay with us.  I’ve decided to add a couple of more pics here to give you an idea of just how big she’s getting.

She just keeps right on growing and growing…

I’ve cut back on both her food and her snacks.  The last thing I want is an unhealthy hog, as I’m hoping she’ll find herself a boyfriend soon.  She may be off-limits for eating, but her progeny will have a much different future than hers.

On to a different topic…one must be very careful when driving out here in the woods.  You just never know what you’re going to find on the trail, or in this case, laying eggs in it.  A couple of weeks ago, after a heavy storm with strong winds, I saw what I thought was just debris in the trail as I was driving out to the store.  I’m glad I’ve developed the habit of looking closely at anything that doesn’t belong on the trail.  That awkward limb sticking up in the tire track turned out to be a slider turtle laying her eggs very much where they didn’t belong.  I called my folks, but by the time they got there with  the excavating tools, she’d finished and gone on her way.  She laid several eggs which we relocated for the sakes of the babes.

I’m not sure where she managed to store all of these eggs inside her shell.

The big brain teaser is how she got them all inside of this tiny hole!

We’re very much hoping no more sliders get the bad idea to do that.  Not only will the cooters not survive, the nest holes can become rather large potholes in an otherwise smooth trail.


Now for the Opinion part of this tiny blog.  As of late, there seem to be more and more Heathens chest thumping and declaring their ways to be more Heathen than thou is Heathen.  Really?  Is this necessary?  How about those who are declaring themselves to be “real” warriors versus what others practice or those who view themselves as Spiritual Warriors?  What’s with all of this  ‘holier than thou’, “You’re doing it wrong!” crap?  Stop acting like Christians!  None of us in this age can be sure we are honoring our Gods and Goddesses the way our ancestors did.  As a matter of fact, it’s pretty much a sure bet none of us are doing it exactly the way they did.  All we have to go by are bits of Lore not tainted by Christians and larger bits of Lore definitely tainted by Christians.  We all are honoring our Gods, Goddesses and Ancestors the best way we can.

By the way, being a muscle-bound, bad ass with a history of violence certainly doesn’t make one a warrior, especially when we have Heathen soldiers in our country’s armed forces fighting for the freedom of other peoples in far away lands.  I’m not at all going to poo poo the Spiritual Warriors of Heathenism because one must conquer one’s own self, body and mindbefore becoming a true warrior can be possible.  If you don’t, you’re just another person playing Viking or justifying being violent with a self-delusion of grandeur.  Then there are those who choose to follow some form of seidr as part of their path.  Who cares?  In the time of Ragnarök, even though we already know our Gods and Goddesses are going to lose, we’re going to need every tool at our disposal.

Please, people.  Let’s stop the bigotry in our own ranks.  As Heathens, we already have an uphill battle to be recognized as people of morality and good character with a sense of family and community.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Medicated Mornings Suck

If the content of this blog gets a little odd, please refer to the title.

I had intended to do this while sitting outside enjoying the morning, but my head, stomach and encroaching odd perspectives (odd even for me) convinced me I needed to come back into the house. I’d rather be out there, but I’d also have a jealous piggy vying for my attention, as well.  I just don’t have the energy to fight her off today.  I went to bed last night with a mild headache (which I’d had all day), so of course, I woke up with a migraine this morning.  In response, I took half of a migraine pill (I had no desire to do any drooling today – the inevitable result of taking a whole migraine tab.), and I am now quite potted.  Mind you that’s not just from the migraine tab.  The migraine tab was taken along with all of my other meds which tend to leave me moving at a little bit of a tilt on my not-so-good-days.  To be quite honest, I haven’t had a pretty-good-day for awhile, but I manage to push through day-by-day.  I have to if I want to live up to the NNV (Nine Noble Virtues).  Those have become a very important part of my getting through each day.  I am sooooo glad they say nothing about muddling through cheerfully.  I have my moments, but I don’t think I’d be passing muster on that one.

Anyway, speaking of the piggy, she is growing quite fast.  I wonder if it’s the pig pellets I bought, or if it’s the granola cereal with which I’ve been dressing it up.  That girl does love her granola.  Last night she was being obstinate while standing up on the ridge just outside of the yard.  She simply was ignoring being called to dinner, not responding to being called beyond looking at me.  I told Mom, “Watch this.”  At that point, I took a Kashi granola bar out of my pocket and wiggled the wrapper.  In moments, I had an 80+ pound pig trying to climb into my chair with me.  My Mom laughed and exclaimed, “Damn!  She has good hearing!”  One must please excuse her words.  She very seldom curses, but it was very funny…until one considered the ramifications of me and an 80+ pound pig trying to share a common plastic yard chair which had seen better days.  It became a race to get a bit of granola into her mouth and off my lap before anything untoward happened to the chair.  I am happy to report that the chair is just fine.

On the other hand, the piggy has a little problem with her po po (butt).  There are a couple of marks down one of her sides, a very clear paw scratch mark down her rump and a scratch/bite mark on her pee po.  Do NOT make me explain that.  I blush easy.  Anyway, this morning was a first for me.  I used some triple anti-biotic ointment with pain reliever (great product by Equate the house brand of Wally World), and I treated the pee po of a pig.  She was a bit shy at first, but once the pain reliever began to kick in, she stood still for the mutual embarrassment.  I really hope she doesn’t develop a problem requiring a vet.  She still runs from everyone who isn’t family, especially men.

Speaking of men, my brother is arriving for Mother’s Day today, and they haven’t met.  I’m hoping she takes to him the way all other animals and small children take to him, except for her latching onto his leg and not letting go.  Several years ago, he had a truly embarrassing incident with a small child at church.  The poor little thing thought for sure she’d found herself a new daddy.  He thought for sure they’d never get her loose from his leg and her screaming in heartbreak the whole while.  The poor mother pretty much just wanted to get her kid loose and run.  It all worked out in the end, but he made sure to not sit near them at church again.

Okay, I’ve run through a variety of topics applying to my morning so far.  It hasn’t been a bad morning, just tilted…badly.  I’m hoping for a peaceful few days with my brother in the same house, but considering we can’t stand each other, that might be difficult.  At least I have Mom to tell Dad and the bro to leave me alone.  Somehow they manage to bond through picking on me.  Sometime, I’ll tell you about the holiday meal I walked out on.  I assure you, Mom was NOT a happy camper.

Okay.  Rambling done.

I hope everyone has a great Mother’s Day!

Posted in Heathen, Nature, Stuff, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Pigs Snuffle, but Dammit, They Bite, Too!

When I started this blog I had aspirations of keeping this up regularly and to write about topics of import.  Then, I started sitting down to look at blank screens, blank screens I had no idea how to fill.  I don’t claim to be a genius.  I don’t claim to know more about everything which could be used for a topic.  The only topics I know about are the topics which touch my life…such that it is.

I say “such that it is” because my world has become so very small by the standards of, well, most people.  My laptop is my gateway to the world…cyber world…a vicarious form of living, at best.  I must admit to having more ‘friends’ online than I do in the real world.  Oddly, I feel a certain amount of safety in this situation, but it’s so very lonely, too.  I’m a touch person.  I’m a hugger.  I’m a holder.

Voices are important to me, too.  Words on a screen can be so very, very misunderstood without the emotional/personal cues always present in the human voice, the human face.  Voices are comforting when the meanings of the words are clear from the cues when the written words may come across in another way entirely.  Really.  How many times have you found yourself wondering what someone really meant by something they typed?  Or have you found yourself in a tiff with someone only to discover that you’d completely misread what they’d said to you?  Maybe you’ve found yourself desperately trying to remove your foot from your mouth because someone else has misunderstood words kindly meant by you?

I’m guessing you’re wondering by now what any of the previous has to do with snuffling pigs who also bite.  Quite honestly, it’s my new world.  Trying to have a small farm in my backyard is a helluva lot harder than I had envisioned.  Some friends of mine, folks I’ve actually hugged quite a few times, make it look easy.  On the other hand, they’ve had a tad more practice, and I’ve taken things somewhat further in the farm direction.  My three turkeys have procreated (no clue which the father is), and I now have 14 little, two week old, darlings who can already fly driving us mad trying to keep track of them all.

Still with me and wondering about the pig?  Well…that started a few months ago with a big, black sow I started calling Petunia.  Mom and I were grazing the goats when she just came wandering up and began hanging around.  She looked like a pot belly that had maybe been dumped or escaped.  It took a little doing, and a whole lot of whole corn, but eventually she allowed us to start petting her.  Then she disappeared, and I was heart broken.  I’d heard some folks across the canal from us set their dogs on a pig, and I just knew it was my sweet Petunia.  For days, I called them everything except people.  A couple of weeks later, she showed back up with a small, copper colored piggy with black spots in tow.  Around here, the mixture of color with the black spots indicates a domesticated hog got loose and found it’s way into a family of wild pigs.  Those inter-breedings can lead to some very colorful wild pigs.

This is back when Daisy was still named Bacon, and she had just started hanging out with Petunia.

Anyway, the little one was named Bacon because that was to be her destiny.  Her destiny changed.  One afternoon after they’d wandered off, we heard some shooting.  The next morning, Bacon showed up absolutely frantic.  She dashed everywhere she and Petunia tended to frequent when they visited us.  It didn’t take a whole lot to figure out that Petunia really was gone this time.  As things would happen, we didn’t call her Bacon for long.  Dad wasn’t a happy camper at all when her name got changed.  He looked at me, but Mom explained it to him this way, “It’s personal now.  We can’t eat her.”  Daisy has turned out to be such a sweet girl, except when she’s aggravated, that’s when she goes from snuffling to biting, and she gets aggravated when you tell her “No!” (of which she very well knows the meaning), when you’re late with one of her meals or you touch her more times than she’s currently willing to allow.  Of course, I push my luck everyday.  Other than that, she’s training me quite well.

She's not sure about the camera, so her little tail isn't curled up the way it is usually. Ain't she purty?

This is Daisy in her little mud hole. The bit of green cloth to the right of her in the pic is the corner of a much larger piece she likes to be mean to when she can't tug my pants or untie my shoe laces.

As I write this, she’s currently sleeping under the  front porch.  I fully expect her training of me to continue first thing in the morning.

Despite her being pig and me being person, I’ve come to truly enjoy my time with her (except, of course, when she bites).  It’s peaceful and often it’s fun.  When she’s feeling really good, she runs around literally kicking up her heels and having a high ol’ time.  When she seems to be down, we just sit there, me in my chair and her in her mud hole.  It’s nice.  No pressure.  No judgement, and if it weren’t for the damn invasion of traffic sounds from the interstate, we’d be completely in our own little world unaware of the big, sucky world around us.  Except that her sucky world starts when she leaves our property.  It’s not safe for her and fortunately she knows it.  I’m afraid of the day she forgets.  Then, I’ll lose her, too.  I sure miss Petunia.

I blame myself for what happened to her.  I’m the one who started feeding her, and I’m the one who was working with her for the intimacy of touching.  In my mind, if it weren’t for me, she’d not have let her guard down to be killed.  I know I seem to repeating those mistakes with Daisy, but I’m trying very hard to make her happy enough not to leave, except maybe to find herself a local boyfriend, and come right straight home where it’s safe.

Silly, isn’t it?

Addendum:  She was in fine form this morning!  Her breakfast was late….

I was very late getting up this morning, and thus very late feeding Daisy. This was the view I received this morning, and I assure you, it came with lots of attitude!


There’s been progress in my relationship with Daisy.  Mom took her and the goats out to the field for grazing.  Since the goats didn’t want to play with Daisy, she decided to hang out with Mom…who then decided to see if she liked to crunch ice cubes.  As it would happen, she did!  She also decided to let me pet her!  Yay!  Unfortunately, the vid of the event didn’t work out.  I’ll try again soon, but a few pics did turn out.